


motel room in michigan

by astolat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-31
Updated: 2008-10-31
Packaged: 2017-10-02 02:33:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astolat/pseuds/astolat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas, and Dean's going to Hell. Episode tag for 3x08 (A Very Supernatural Christmas).</p>
            </blockquote>





	motel room in michigan

  
Christmas was a motel room in Michigan, air freshener ornaments on the tree and lights so cheap six of the bulbs had burned out black before the game was over, eggnog thick and too-sweet and liquored rolling easily down his throat. The nutmeg smell mingling with the faint smell of blood, and Sam's ripped fingernail was a white-out of pain if he moved it the wrong way. Christmas was less than six months left.

Sam stopped even pretending to watch the TV after a while and just watched Dean, watched the swallows travel down his throat, the flicker of light and color reflecting in his eyes, the way his lashes flicked down against his cheek, every now and again. Dean didn't look over at him, just kept his eyes steadily on the TV, but color stole across his face. He was breathing through his parted lips.

The game dragged out and the TV flipped over to the Yule Log, fake warmth and tinny crackle. Dean looked down at his hands and fidgeted, turned it around between his fingers. Sam watched his hands and thought, this was the last time. Dean wasn't going to see thirty. Dean was going to be ashes on the wind, burning forever somewhere down below.

Dean reached out and poured himself another hit, half eggnog and half brandy, his hand shaking just a little. He hadn't had that much to drink yet. His gaze had turned inward, hollow, and he was staring out ahead without looking at anything, seeing the same thing Sam was. Dean tipped up the glass and took a short gulp, lowered it down and licked his lips clean, ran his tongue over his teeth, and then he smiled to himself, that quick curl of bravado he used like armor, little flick of his head -- so it goes.

It hurt to look at. Sam swallowed, his eyes burning hot, stinging, and he reached out and took the cup out of Dean's hands and put it on the table. Dean looked over at him, quizzical, and Sam cupped Dean's face in his hands.

"Sammy," Dean said, "nah, come on, Sammy. You don't want -- "

"Shut up," Sam said, and he leaned in and kissed Dean, held him still and chased down his mouth, sweet and alcoholic.

Dean ducked his head away from it after a minute. "No sense making it worse, Sam," he said, hoarsely.

"Worse?" Sam said, and he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. "You think it gets _worse_?"

Dean flinched, and Sam shut his eyes and breathed out, because that wasn't -- he hadn't found a way, and maybe he wasn't going to be able to, so the least he could do was try and not hurt Dean more. "No," he said softly. "No, I'm sorry. Don't think about it, Dean. I don't want you to think about it. Not tonight."

"Sam," Dean said, but Sam had already leaned in and caught Dean's mouth, caught Dean's wrists in his hands, curling his fingers around them insistent and gentle. Dean's chair went over as he stood up, Sam with him all the way, and they were moving until Dean's back hit the door. Sam pressed him up against it full-body, pinned his hands against the wall and kissed him over and over.  

# End

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic Collection] A Very Supernatural Christmas: A Collection of Holiday Podfics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/375114) by [applegeuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/applegeuse/pseuds/applegeuse)
  * [[Podfic of] Motel Room in Michigan / written by astolat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/603591) by [EosRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EosRose/pseuds/EosRose)




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